Wonga adfligitur: Wonga in trouble

Argentarium Wongam res ancipites adfligunt. Pecunias pauperibus quinquaginis centisimis faereratur. Mutuantes oportet quam celerrime renumare quod nimium est faenus Wongae. Anno novissimo Welby Archiepiscopus Cantabrigensis denuntiavit quomodo se Wongam conficiat. Nil evenit sed nuper judices argentiariorum edixerunt Wongae pecunias pauperium retribuendas quibus epistulas minantes falsas iecisset. Judices eadem Wongam condemnavit quod nefas esset pauperibus commodare qui minime pecunias reddere possent. Nunc Wonga, ut judices pronuntiaverunt, complures miliones librorum debet. Fortasse verba Archiepiscopi sancientur.


Trouble has hit the lender Wonga. They lend money to the poor at a monthly rate of interest of fifty percent. Lenders should repay as quickly as possible because Wonga’s rate of interest is so high. Last year, Archbishop Welby of Cantabury announced how he would finish Wonga. Nothing happened, but recently the financial services authorities decreed that Wonga had to pay back the money of the poor to whom they had sent fake threatening letters. The authorities also condemned Wonga because it is wrong to lend to the poor who are scarcely able to repay the money. Now Wonga owes several millions of pounds. Perhaps the Archbishop’s promise will be fulfilled.


Symposium Britannicum Historiographorum Criminalium: British Crime Historians’ Symposium

Dies Veneris Saturnique Universitate Liverpoolense aderam quod Symposium Britannicum Historiographorum Criminalium eveniebat. Octoginta homines convenerunt causa amiciter disceptandi. Complures praesentationes exhibuerunt quae spectatores delectaverunt. De damnatis et carceribus et judiciis et lictoribus et puellis puerisque sceleratis et furibus et sicariis colloquebamur. Concessum adpellavi de arte qua lictores Cumbrienses ebrios adtractarent. Parlamentum ultimum maxime intererat quod omnes confabulantur de auctoribus televisonis qui historiographos arcessant ad cogitationes tradendos. Die Veneris vesperi in taberna Graeca dapsile cenavimus. Symposium valde est convivialis et sapiens et eruditum.


Orationes Arcessandae: the Call for Papers.

On Friday and Saturday I was at the University of Liverpool for the British Crime Historians’ Symposium. Eighty people met for friendly discussion. Several gave presentations which pleased the audience. We were conversing about convicts, prisons, courts, the police, child offenders, thieves and murderers. I addressed the meeting on the topic of how the police in Cumbria used to deal with drunks. The final round table session was very interesting because there was a general discussion about TV productions who call upon historians to share their expertise. On Friday evening we dined splendidly in a Greek restaurant. The Symposium certainly was convivial, intelligent and erudite.


Aedes Prospicientiae ubi conveniebamus.

The Forsesight Centre where we met.

Cives Caledoniae affati sunt. The Scottish people have spoken.


Hodie cognoscemus quid populus Caledoniae censent. ‘Non’ electo, in Regno Coniuncto manere volunt. Octaginta quinque per centum cives suffragia tulerunt, quinquaginta quinque per centum electores “non” dixerunt. Abhinc decem dies res sic anceps videbatur ut Minister Primus Cameron pavore afflictus promitteret potestatem majorem reipublicae Caledoniae traditam iri, si cives ‘non’ eligant. Feliciter Gordon Brown orationem suavissimam aptissimamque dixit in quo Regnum Coniunctum ferventer laudabant.


Sed hodie mane Alex Salmond ab spe destitutus populi affatus est: populum Caledoniae eligisse, nunc Cameroni esse promissa servanda.


Necesse est nobis, ut duces Angliae dicunt, Senatum Londinii reficere ut legati Caledonienses non res Anglias disceptare possint.

Today we know what the people of Scotland think. They voted ‘no’ and want to stay in the United Kingdom. Eighty five per cent of the electorate voted, fifty five per cent of the voters said ‘no’. Ten days ago the outcome seemed so doubtful that Prime Minister Cameron panicked and promised that more power would be handed to the Scottish Government if the voters chose ‘no’.


Fortunately Gordon Brown gave a brilliant and persuasive speech in which he powerfully endorsed the Union. But this morning a disappointed Alex Salmond addressed the people. He said that the Scottish peopl had chosen; now Cameron would have to keep his promises. The political leaders in England say that we need to reform the Westminster Parliament so that the Scottish MPs cannot influence English business.

Respublica Caledoniensibus eligenda. Scotland must decide.


Die quinto suffragatoribus Caledoniae respublica referetur. Populis cernendum erit sive in Regno Coniuncto manendum sive Calendoniae independenti favendum. Quid homines delectet? Menses complures consulti periti dicebant Caledonienses plerumque ‘non’ electuros esse, id est, Regni Coniuncti fauturos. Sed nuper numerus fautorium Caledoniae independentis crescet et disceptatio commota irataque fit. Fautores Regni Conjuncti adseverant Caledonia sine Anglia vectigalibus et negotationibus magnis et argentariis et ludis internationalibus carebunt, sed fautores Caledoniae independentis argumenta adnegant quod, ut dicunt, copiae petrolei eis sunt. Prima occasio erit in qua homines annos sedecim nati suffragium ferre poterint. Res sunt magni negotii, ferentes eventum ancipitem.

cameron salmond

In four days’ time the voters of Scotland will vote on their government. The people will have to decide if they should stay in the United Kingdom, or if they want an independent Scotland. What will the people prefer? For many month the seasoned commentators have been saying that the Scots will mostly vote ‘no’, that is in favour of the United Kingdom. But recently the number of supporters of an independent Scotland had grown and the debate has become heated and angry. The supporters of the United Kingdom assert that Scotland without England will be short of tax income, of large businesses, of banks and of international sporting events, but the supporters of Scottish independence reject these claims because, they say, they have a large amount of oil. This will be the first chance for sixteen year olds to vote. It is a very important event with an uncertain outcome.

Farah Keitanyque superant in Cursu Magno Septentrionale: Farah and Keitany triumph in Great North Run

Hodie athleta Britannicus Mo Farah omnes in Cursu Magno Septentrionale per vias Novocastri superavit.


Cursus, primo anno MCMLXXXI certatus, crebrissimus est in toto orbe terrarum quoad hodie quinquaginta septem milia hominum intererant et decens centiens millensima athleta, Tracey Cramond nomine, cursum permensa est.


Farah adeo optime cucurrit ut celerrimus Britannicus nunc praestet, qui cursus tredecim milia passuum hora una exacta perficeret. Vir praeclarus fortisque est qui se saepe strenue sapienter exerceat ut omnes vincat. Femina prima, Maria Keitany, Kenyiensis, cursum sexaginta quinque minutis permensa est et nunc celerrima umquam in cursu praestat. Athleta Britannica celerrima erat Gemma Adamantea, quae secunda cursum perfecit. Eheu, adesse mihi placeret!


Today the British athlete Mo Farah triumphed on the streets of Newcastle in the Great North Run. The race, first held in 1981, is the most popular in the world, for today 57,000 took part and the millionth runner, Tracey Cramond, completed the course. Farah ran so quickly that he broke the record, completing the thirteen mile route in one hour exactly. He is an outstanding man and athlete, for he trains hard and intelligently every day in order to be the best. The first female athlete was Mary Keitany, a Kenyan, who completed the race in 65 minutes and is now the record holder for the course. The first British woman was Gemma Steel, who finished second. Oh, I would have loved to be there!


Katriana Vepres iterum in scaena cantat: Kate Bush performs live again


Die Martis Londinio cantrix Katriana Vepres in scaena erat. Iampridem Katriana non in aperto cantat, vero abhinc annos triginti quinque. Horas tres spectatores magnopere delectabat. Cantantem de naufragio, Katrianam, in undis perditam secundum canem, helicopter ex mare tulit. Non iam Katriana tale voce angusta ululat quale annos undeviginti nata cantare posset sed spectaculum insolitum audientibus praebuit. Omnes rebus Vepris fructi sunt. Acta diurna Tempora dicunt eam esse Britannicissam omnium qui modo fanatico novissimo cantent. Filia mea Veritas fervide commovetur quae tesseram habeat ad spectaculum videndum.

bush helicopter 

On Tuesday in London the singer Kate Bush was on stage. Kate has not sung in public for a long time, in fact 35 years. For three hours she enthralled the audience. Singing about a ship wreck in which she was cast into the waves, Kate was lifted from the sea by a helicopter.  Kate no longer hits the very high notes which she could sing when she was 19 years old, but she gave the audience an outstanding show. Everyone enjoyed Bush’s performance. The Times newspaper said that she is the most British of all the most progressive pop musicians. My daughter Verity is very excited because she has a ticket for the show.

Ducibusne languescentibus Apocalypsis eveniat? Will the Apocalypse happen while our leaders are relaxing?


Dies tremendae adsint? Acta diurna res diriores in dies nobis nuntiant.

Gratia exempli in Africa vis morbi Ebolae evagatur. Indices mortuorum sine laxamenta augescunt, medici vix aegros curare possunt et nuper viatores ubique impediuntur.


Medics fighting Ebola in West Africa

Oriente milites exercitus ISIL dicantes se esse solos vero Muslimos contendunt ut de nationibus Iraci Syriaeque desciscant et jugo Shiito deiecto regnum Sunnium condant.


 Milites atroces, mortes suas quaerentes vitasque aspernantes, pavorem in populis iniciunt quod feminas puellasque hostium rapiunt et viros omnes et pueros trucidant. Nuper Americanum captum sicarius Britannicus exercitu ISIL coniunctus foedissime truncavit. Rem scelestum per retem mondialem omnibus ISIL exhibuit.

Palestina inter Arabicos Judaeosque semper sine mora pugnatur ut multi Arabici et perpauci Judaei occiduntur, nemine de conditionibus pacis agente.

Russici plaustra compluria, matiries ferentia quae viribus Ukranae minentur, trans limitem suum mittere temptant ad populum Ukranae irritandum.


Russian lorries queuing to enter Ukraine

Denique urbem Americanam Ferguson turbulentiae adflictant cum lictor quidam iuvenem inermem sed furtem, iudicio lictoris, sex glandibus plumbeis feriverit. Vulgo aliter res explicatur, nonnullis dicantibus lictorem iuvenem ferivisse quod esset Afro-Americanus.


Heavily armed police in Ferguson

Apocalypsis evenit? Ubi sunt duces? Feriis fructantur.


Is this the end of days? The news reports worse things everyday. For example, in Africa there is an epidemic of Ebola. The number of dead is increasing without respite. the doctors can scarcely look after the sick and recently travel has been restricted.

In the East, fighters of the ISIL army, calling themselves the only true Muslims, are fighting to break away from Iraq and Syria, to throw off Shiite domination and set up a Sunni state. Ruthless soldiers are seeking death with no regard for their own lives. They are spreading terror amongst the people by abducting women and girls, and killing all the men and boys. Recently a British murderer, who had joined the ISIL forces, dreadfully beheaded an American captive. They showed this awful deed to the world on the internet.

In Palestine, the fighting is still going on without respite between the Arabs and the Israelis, and many Arabs plus a few Jews have been killed, and no one is talking about peace.

The Russians are threatening the Ukrainian authorities by trying to send lorries full of supplies across the border, to the annoyance of the Ukrainian people. Finally, the American town of Ferguson has been hit with rioting after a policeman shot an unarmed young man six times, on the grounds that he was a thief. There is another explanation among the public. A lot of them say that the policeman shot him because the young man was an African-American.

Is this the Apocalypse? Where are our leaders? They are enjoying their holidays.