Sacerdos decoloratus: minister disgraced

Paul Flowers

Argentarius sacerdosque Paulus Florae patefactus est ut dedecus ordinationi Co-operativae et ecclesiae Methodicae. Iste, ut fertur, fraude se producebat qui sic imperitus inscitusque dux argentariae factus sit ut Co-operativa paene decocta sit. Iste quoque adpellatus est qui medicamenta nefaria consumeret et picturas scurriles in machine ratiocinativa inspectaret. Praeterea, ut adpellatur, impensas immoderatas pro pensis suis peteret. Maeste dedecora ista miseranda turpiaque Co-operativae ordinationi haerent, quae annos paene duocentum summam honestatem fidemque colaret.


Paul Flowers, a banker and preacher, has been exposed as a disgrace to the Co-operative movement and the Methodist church. It is reported that this man fraudulently promoted himself so that he while inexperienced and unqualified was made head of the bank with the result that the Co-op was almost bankrupted. This man is also accused of using illegal drugs and viewing pornography on his computer. On top of that, as he is accused, he claimed excessive expenses for his duties. Sadly these deplorable and disgraceful misdeeds have tarnished the Co-op movement, which has for almost two hundred years set a high standard for honesty and reliability.



Taberna Burtoniensis, Triclinium XXVII: Burton Village Shop, Cafe 27.

bil shop

PRAECONIUM: In vico Eboraciense, Burton in valle Lunae nomine, tabernam abhinc octo annos cives una sumunt. Negotium ut co-operativum agunt. Cives triclinium tabernae addiderunt, cuius dedicatio die Saturni proximo acta est. Homo notissimus Vaccarius Rochdalensis, alias Michaelus Harding, multis carminibus argutis cantatis, exordium triclinio dixit et placentam caeremonialem secavit. Omnes plauserunt, placentam gustaverunt et laetissimi  riserunt. Triclinium « Café XXVII » visitare debetis, si in via A.DCLXXXVII iter faciatis. Zenobia cibum optimum coquit, Helena tabernam agentissime componit, et omnes in vico sunt fraterni.

Burton in Lonsdale, Yorkshire Ingleborough Hill overlooks the High Street

Burton in Lonsdale, Yorkshire
Ingleborough Hill overlooks the High Street.

Burton is at the half-way point on the John o’ Groats – Lands End cycle route.

Advert: In the Yorkshire village of Burton in Lonsdale, eight years ago the villagers together took over the shop. They run the business as a co-operative., The villagers have added to the shop a restaurant, which was opened Saturday last. A famous celebrity, the Rochdale Cowboy, also known as Mike Harding, sang many great songs, delivered the opening speech and cut the ceremonial cake. Everyone clapped, tasted the cake and enjoyed themselves splendidly. You must visit the restaurant, Café 27, if you are travelling on the A687. Zaneb cooks excellent food, Helen runs the shop most efficiently, and everyone in the village is friendly.

Burton Village Shop. Friendly, welcoming, convenient. Local produce, great cafe, good food.

Comatus Eboraci, patria Domini ipsius. Yorkshire, God’s own country.

Last stronghold of the Brigantes (perhaps)

Ingleborough Hill, Yorkshire Dales

Locorum in orbe terrarum modo duo sunt meliora quam comatum Eboraci. Sic liber « Planes Solus » dixit. Valde comatus est optimum locum in Europa: habet colles amoenos, civitates suaves, athletas Olympicas (exempli gratia, Jessica Ennis et Lizzie Armitstead), eruditissimas universitates literarum scientificaeque, cibum delectabilem (sicut reubarbarum et placentem Eboraciensem), pictores peritissimos (e.g., Davidum Hockney), cantatores argutos (e.g., Simias Arcticos) et Guillelmus Hague. Anno MMXIV birotatores Cursus Franciae Eboracia profiscentur et iter per Olicanam facient. Verum est, ut approbo qui hunc habitem, comatus Eboraci optimus est.

Lizzie Armitstead, birotator victrix.

Delia’s Yorkshire Pudding

Only two places in the world are better than Yorkshire. This is what the publication ‘Lonely Planet’ said.  Certainly the county is the best place in Europe. It has beautiful hills, fine cities, Olympic athletes (for example, Jessica Ennis and Lizzie Armistead), the most learned universities for science and the humanities,  delicious food (like rhubarb and Yorkshire pudding), the best artists (e.g., David Hockney), talented musicians (e.g., The Arctic Monkeys) and William Hague. In 2014, the riders in the Tour of  France, will set off in Yorkshire and will travel through Ilkley.  I can confirm as someone who lives here that it is true, the county of Yorkshire is the best.

William Hague MP, Yorkshireman and Foreign Secretary