Cantrix notissima Glastonburghe superavit: famous songstress triumphs at Glasto.

Per dies festi quattuor hominum multi sescenti Glastonburghem frequentabant. Fabula prima erat cantrix Americana Dollia Parton quae braces candidas gemmis celatas gestans de luto carmen novum cantavit. ‘quod agricolae filia sum’ inquit ‘de luto omnia cognosco.’ In proscaenio pyramido unam horam cantabat, carmina notissima recitans sicut ‘Laborans oram secundam ad decimam’. Quamquam pauci cantricem insecuti sunt ut hypocritam, multitudo maxime Dolliam amabat, praecipue filia mea quae aderat Veritas nomine.


Belfast Telegraph

Monday 30 June 2014

Many thousands of people thronged Glastonbury for the four day festival. The headline act was the Ameican singer Dolly Parton who whilst wearing a white trouser suit embroidered with diamonte sang a new song about mud. “I know all about mud” she said, “because I am th daughter of a farmer.” She sang on the pyramid stage for an hour, going through her most famous songs, including “Working nine to five.” Although a few people criticised the singer for miming, the crowd loved Dolly, especially my daughter Verity who was there.


Res ancipites et gravissimae Irace. Bellum civilis imminet.

Tumultus maximum nationem Iracis affligit. Hostes patriae armati urbes nunnullas occupaverunt cum milites reipublicae ignavi celeriter effugissent. Hostes, Isis nomine, Iracem dividere volunt ut nationem novam pariant.


Nefarie, milites officialesque reipublicae captos instanter carnificant. Nouriem al-Malikem Primum Ministrum, qui rempublicam cum maxima iniquitate regat, complures culpant. Vero, res ancipites factae sunt abhinc multos annos, cum Bush Blairque Iracem invadere constituissent. Nunc Iracienses ampliam cladem vastitemque metuunt.


A serious rebellion is troubling the nation of Iraq. Armed enemies of the country seized several towns when the state’s cowardly soldiers had fled. The enemy, called Isis, want to split Iraq to create a new nation. Wickedly, they summarily execute the soldiers and state officials whom they capture. Many people blame Prime Minister Nouri al-Maliki for running the country in a very unjust way. In truth, things became very unstable many years ago, when Bush and Blair decided to invade Iraq. Now the people of Iraq fear that there will be more slaughter and destruction.